Military life was not in my original plan for how my life would go. I dated my husband when he was active duty in the coast guard, but by the time we got engaged and married, he was out and we were in civilian life. It wasn’t until years later when he came to me and asked me about “going back in”. So here we are! Four moves, 3 babies and many deployments later!
Having a spouse as a member of the Armed Forces, it likely doesn’t take you long to figure out there’s a whole lot about military life that can be downright frustrating. Many times I have wanted to scream, or throw my hands up and just run away. Ever been waiting for travel and moving funds to be reimbursed?? Yeah….
However, I have also learned there is a whole lot about this life that’s worthy of my gratitude. At the end of the day, even while waiting on that reimbursement no less, I find that the blessings greatly outweigh the burdens.
More Independence
During those times of separation is when I have discovered the most about myself, especially what I am capable of. As a Military spouse, you have no choice but to embrace your independence! You are holding down the home front more often than you would like: finances, children and home. You may have to move alone and find yourself starting in a new area without your loved on. It feels so overwhelming sometimes but it forces you to become more independent. That is a good thing! Through both the negative and positive experiences you can learn more about yourself and who you are as a person.
Finding Your Tribe
Every time we relocate, there is a fear of losing the friends you have at your current duty station. After all, “out of sight, out of mind” right? I am here to tell you, no matter how many times you PCS, true friendships and relationships will never die. I have been blessed to have dear and forever friends around the county and world. I know they will be there for me no matter what hour I call (or MARCO POLO) them.
However, even with all those friends in different corners of the country, it is normal to desire to have relationships in the current duty station. Someone to go on target runs with, to schedule play dates, or to be your date for spouse events while your spouses are deployed. Finding your tribe takes work, but it can be the most worthwhile investment in your military life.
Travel
Starting this journey, I had such a long bucket list of places that I would LOVE to travel to: Italy, Germany, Japan, Hawaii, Washington D.C, San Diego. Now, some of these have been crossed off my list, but there are so many more opportunities that could come up! Going OCONUS (overseas move) or even living in a different part of the US that wouldn’t have happened otherwise can be such a great experience! You get to see areas of the world you never thought you would get to.B
Room to Grow
There are so many opportunities for growth when you are living in a military life. Did you want to get that degree? There are opportunities for you. Do you want to take some time and focus on your own self-care? There is an opportunity for that too! Have you wanted to volunteer with some amazing organizations, meet new people, or learn a new skill (such as changing a tire in a snow storm during a PCS)?? Yep! There is an opportunity for that too! Everything about military life: the good, the bad and the ugly, can help you learn more about the type of person you are. You will change and grow as a person and that is always a good thing.
You Know Sacrifice
Sacrifice can come in different forms but as a military spouse, you will feel it in ways that others will not. You feel it when your service member deploys and misses out on important events such as birthdays, anniversaries and first day of school. Sacrifice hits you hard when you are unable to take them with you when you go home for Christmas, or they miss the birth of your child. You will feel it if they come home injured (physically, mentally or emotionally) or if they don’t come home at all. Sacrifice is built into being a MILSO. This is not a bad thing.
Your Children Learn By Example
Children are sponges and they soak up everything around them. They are watching both you and your service member and learning. Having a parent in the military is an amazing way for a child to understand what it means to serve their country. Those children grow up knowing what that really means to serve. Additionally, these children also are watching you. Yes, that’s right: you. Life isn’t always easy for a military child but they will gain a lot, including independence, resilience, kindness and a love for their country. That is a good thing!
Homecomings!
Lastly, after all that sacrifice and time apart, nothing is quite like a homecoming! Only military spouses can really appreciate the sweet relief, pure joy and excitement that comes with homecoming following deployment.
Find The Good
Not everything with military life is filled with rainbows and butterflies and glitter. However, it is important to find the good in your circumstances! MILSO life has some perks! Go out and find them for yourself!
