Arriving in a new duty station can be intimidating.
I have to admit, there have been times when the thought of starting over makes me just want to stay home and keep to the familiar as much as possible. I have spent time in the past keeping to myself and not exploring the areas like I should have.
Such a waste! Don’t do what I did! Trust me, it’t not worth it.
There is a usual cycle to each PCS. As military, we move every 2-3 years and each time the cycle begins. First you hate it, then after 6 months or so, you start finding things you like about it. Hang on though, because once you start loving it, inevitably orders will come and it will be time to leave again.
Am I the only one this has happened to??
Even with this cycle, it is possible to shorten the time it takes to love your new duty station. Have you ever heard of the phrase “bloom where you are planted”? This means that no matter your situation, you can grow and really shine. It just takes some extra work!
I’ve had a few new duty stations myself and I am here to tell you that as a spouse with small children, it took me a while to figure all this out (and I am still working hard on it!). I don’t want anyone else to go through the frustration so I have compiled the 7 main ways I have found to help make your new area feel like home faster!
1. Set Up House ASAP
I find having a put together home is the best medicine for feeling unfamiliar and lonely in a new place. This does not mean that you have to unpack every single item in your home in the first couple days. It does mean, however, unpacking the items that help you FEEL at home. For me, other than furniture and bedding, this would include the art, my kid’s books, our special Willow Tree statues, and our family photos.
In our current duty station, I did something I hadn’t been able to do in previous ones: I painted the front door. This was truly the most simple and best way to feel at home in our new place.
2. Find Your Groups
Thank goodness for social media these days! Facebook groups are everywhere with everything from your command’s page, the FRG (Family Readiness Group) for your area, the mom’s groups. I also suggest you completing this task, if possible, before you even arrive at your duty station. Its nice to be able to find new “friends” to add to your tribe and get to know them, even on a superficial level, BEFORE you arrive so you are not alone from the beginning.
There are many opportunities to join groups that are face to face as well. MOPS groups, church, book clubs, BUNCO groups and such as almost always readily available. These will not only give you support and comfort when coming to a new place but, if there is childcare available, it will also provide you a break when needed.
3. Enroll in Classes
Whether your children attend preschool, you join the YMCA, or your oldest plays a sport, signing up for classes as soon as possible is really important. This can help you meet friends, gain stability with a schedule and get you out of the house and your body moving.
4. Establish New “Go-To”s
I am sure you know how this is: we all have preferred groceries stores, favorite places to eat, and doctors we want to continue to see when our family is sick. The only way to find new ones is to get out and try them out. I like to research ahead of time if my current favorites (stores of course) are anywhere near my new area. This can bring some of the familiar to an unfamiliar area. Doctors are harder, and I rely on recommendations from the new “groups”. This can be hard, but sometimes you have to put trust in others to really find some great things.
5. Get to Know your Neighbors
Nothing says “Welcome to the Neighborhood” more than someone knocking on your door with a plate of cookies and inviting you to a BBQ. However, don’t wait for your neighbors to make the first move! Even if it means striking up a conversation about a mole infestation (yep- that’s was the topic for my meet-and-greet!), reaching out and getting to know your neighbors can make or break your experience.
I have found that my neighbors were not only people who could help me get to know the area, but we have found playmates for our kids, babysitter for emergencies and people to confide in when I just needed to talk to someone. No matter the age gap or background, neighbors can end up feeling like family. You just need to be willing to put yourself out there and be open to all sorts of people you may meet.
6. Get Lost
Thats right! Charge up your cell phone, get in your car and just drive around! No map, no directions, just drive. I remember doing this in San Diego and I was SHOCKED to discover so many things so close to my house AND I was able to find my way back home a lot quicker than if I had used the GPS. By getting lost, you end up FINDING more than focusing on one place or area. Who knows, you may even find the hidden gem you’ve always wanted!
7. Research Local Events
The first thing I do when I arrive at a new duty station is check for all their holiday events: Forth of July fireworks, pumpkin patches, Santa pictures, and even concerts and reading times at the local library. Why not go ahead and have some fun things planned for the upcoming months of living in your new home!
Don’t Delay and Get Going!
This may all seem intimidating, but I promise you it will make a difference. Even just getting out of your comfort zone for ONE of these tips could really help your new duty station feel like home rather than a temporary resting place.
Any other tips and tricks you would suggest??
