Deployments are a part of many military families. It may not happen regularly, but more than likely, it will happen. Most of the time, you have the ability to prep and prepare. However, there are times when your spouse comes home with news – a late minute deployment.
I remember when it happened to me. I was 6 months pregnant with my second child with a toddler at home. It was right after Christmas and my husband had just gone back to work after a well deserved holiday break. He came home and met me in our daughter’s room with a look on his face.
I got nervous and braced myself.
He broke the news that he was told he needed to switch ships and be deployed. I processed that and then asked when.
Monday. Six days.
That deployment was a game changer for me and I learned a lot about myself and what I was capable of. However, preparing for it was overwhelming and I needed to really push forward in order to prepare myself. And I did it! So here I am, sharing how to best to prepare for a last minute deployment.
Here Is What You Can Do
Breathe Out
The moment my husband shared the news, I remember I had to physically instruct myself to exhale. You may experience the same thing! You may notice you are holding your breath, or feel like your heart has stopped. Your brain will be going 90 miles an hour, noting how it wasn’t suppose to happen so quickly, or even at all! You might be thinking about what will be miss and feeling like you needed more time to prepare.
This is all normal. Deployments are no joke but remember to breathe. Getting used to the idea of a deployment takes time and if they received last minute deployment orders, you won’t have much time to adjust to what is about to happen. Take a moment, or two, to collect yourself.
Be Upset
If you need to cry, do so. If you need to be angry, that’s ok too! I cannot think of a single military spouse going through a deployment who hasn’t felt one of these negative emotions. If you first reaction to a deployment is to cry into your spouse’s arms, do so. It it means you want to scream into a pillow, do not feel shame in that. That doesn’t mean you don’t support your service member. It just means you are having a hard time with the news and you will need process it.
Plan
Planning for a deployment is important, even if you only have a few days to do so. Focus on you and your family and what you can do in the short amount of time you have. Maybe you need to update the paperwork (get your service member involved), or maybe you want to make goals for yourself and your family. It is important to also spend quality time with your service member prior to the separation.
Lean on your Tribe
My tribe was my lifeline for that last minute deployment. Other than my husband, there were four other ladies where on my speed-dial within 5 hours of finding out the news. Connecting and building your tribe will help with the logistics of the deployment as well as providing emotional support. If you know any of the other spouses that will also be dealing with this deployment too, make a plan for a lunch or dinner before or right after the deployment starts. It really is true that there is strength in numbers.
We Survived and Thrived
That deployment showed me the importance of planning in advance for a “future deployment”. However, since that wasn’t an option, it also showed me the importance of being flexible and knowing how to thrive no matter the plans. No matter how soon your service member leaves, use that time the best way for you. Maybe that means crying in your car alone, updating the POA, or taking a stay-cation with your service member, the choice is yours. Regardless, you can not only survive, but also thrive!
