Guys….parenting toddlers is not for the weak.
I have been blessed with three children in less than 3.5 years. They are my life, my joy, my love and the best things that have ever happened to me. However, there are days, and sometimes weeks, that wear me down until I feel like I might break.
Have you ever felt that feeling before?
This week was exceptionally hard. Particularly when it comes to me and my son. He is my middle child, my only boy and the apple of my eye. But he also is the reason I have grey hairs and the reason some days I feel like a failure as a parent.
After all…he is 2 years old AND a strong-willed child.
Let me tell you about what happened today….
He woke up from his nap and I offered him a snack. He throws the Hot Wheels car in his hand on the floor, pushes all the other cars on the couch off and starts to scream. My mind is spinning. What could POSSIBLY have caused THIS?! I attempt to ward off the tantrum, but I am unsuccessful.
I start feeling upset myself. This is the 3rd breakdown over NOTHING just today and all week has been this way. I am starting to feel like all my son does is either sleep, eat or scream.
As my son is screaming, unable to communicate his big feelings in his tiny body, I sit there with my head in my hands and hope that I won’t break down and yell myself. I have to count to 3… and then to 10….and then 34…slowly….before I can speak. I have repeated myself over and over already, telling him to calm down and use his words, but the truth is, he won’t calm down. He is too upset to calm down anytime soon.
I feel broken.
I have thoughts in my mind of “why does he only do this to me?” “What am I doing wrong?” “Have I completely failed?”.
So I break. I internally lose it. I’m MAD. I put him in his crib and walk out of the room. I tell him to STOP and I will not come back in the room until he is calm. He is unconsolable at this point, and honestly, so am I. I want to scream at him. Tell him to “get over it”. But I can’t….shouldn’t. Because I am the mom. I AM the mom. I am the MOM.
Time passes and he finally calms down.
I have stepped outside for a deep breath and come back into the room and I give him a hug. I tell him I love him, and I ask him for a kiss. With tears in his eyes, he gives me a kiss. He lays his head on my shoulder. He is my little man again, no longer the virile animal yelling at me.
My heart hurts because I so badly miss that part of him. The part who wants to snuggle with me and show me his trucks and wants me to sing to him. We sit on the couch and I offer him a snack again. This time he says yes.
As we sit there, he looked over at me and smiled. Guys, that smile is so fantastic, isn’t it? I tell him I love him and he repeated me “Love you”.
Heart melts…
While reading other blogs and books and scouring Pinterest to help me find answers to my constant questions about parenting this strong-willed child of mine, I have come across some amazing and inspiring things to remember.
But there are two main things that I have learned from experiences like this that I wish to share with you.
He will move mountains
I tell my husband on the daily that our son will “grow up to cure cancer”. What I mean by that is that he will make a difference, conquer whatever is in his way and accomplish whatever he puts his mind to. He is a natural-born leader and is someone who is going to shape the way and be a leader in the next generation.
He is relentless: if he wants to push the button to the elevator, you better believe he will ask, demand and plead until you let him. He will run FASTER than his sister to make sure he can be the first to push that button.
I can only imagine what he will accomplish and hope and pray to be able to parent him in the right direction.
He makes me a better parent
It sounds cliche, but I thought I knew what parenting was all about when I had my first child. She was easy going, a great sleeper and eater, super happy and I never needed to baby proof. She still is sweet, easy-going and uses her please and thank-you when talking to me.
Then my son was born.
He required a whole new set of parenting skills, more guidance and much more patience. Although I love him with all my heart, I have to grow in my parenting skills and I am still learning daily. I have to remember that I do not need to worry about others and their parenting skills. I have been reading a book called “You are the Mother your Children Need”. It has really helped me understand that having a strong-willed child is not only a lesson for me, but that HE needs me also. I don’t want to let him down.
Do you have a strong-willed child? A vocal toddler? Do you feel lost in parenting?
I promise you are not alone. You have so many strengths, talents and abilities to handle anything that comes your way. You child NEEDS you. Needs YOU. Take comfort in knowing that those seemingly hard traits in your child are actually the ones that will cause mountains to move.
That child will be the one who people listen to. He will start his own business and achieve his dream. She will be the one who will be the team captain and who will help a friend in need when they are in trouble. Your child will make you a better person and a better parent.
So embrace any moment you can. Because with the “bad” comes a whole lot of GOOD.
