Deployments are almost inevitable for most military families. We prepare the best we can, but there are some absolutes that you can count on. One of the most common that almost every MILSO will experience is Murphy’s Law. This is the “deployment edition”. When everything seems to go wrong all at once and at the worst possible time.
Sound familiar at all?
Here are Murphy’s Law stories from seasoned MILSOs for your enjoyment! So if you are experiencing your own Murphy’s Law, you are not alone!
Travel Mishaps
John and I got engaged during his deployment to Afghanistan and were planning on a wedding a month after he was scheduled to return. His mom and sisters planned a wonderful bridal shower for me in Pittsburgh… and then about a week before the shower, we received confirmation of his return.
Of course, it was the day of the shower. Although it was moved to the next day, I still needed to wake up at 4 AM and drive from Pittsburgh to Virginia Beach.
The trip took more than 10 hours on one of the hottest days of the year, thanks to bumper-to-bumper traffic on much of 95. My car’s AC died and we got stuck in a funeral procession. Once arriving in Virginia Beach, my friend and I thought we had a few hours to kill before the flight got in. So we grabbed a nice dinner by the boardwalk to decompress a bit.
Halfway through dinner, we got a call from another military spouse. She realized we had never been notified that the flight was moved up and– get this– the plane was on the ground and the group was working their way through customs.
We jumped in the car and practically flew to the MAC Terminal, getting there literally a minute before customs began letting them through the barrier and reuniting with their families. All’s well that ends well… but it was a heck of a time getting to the ending! – Jo: Jo My Gosh!
ER and Sick Visits
During our 4th deployment, the night my husband left, my son who was 8 got a rock stuck in his ear. While dealing with that, our AC went out. All on day 1! It was pretty crazy and Murphy was all over our house that day. – Julie: Soldier’s Wife Crazy Life
The boat had kept being delayed a few days every couple days and everyone was ready for the boat to pull back in. My oldest started saying her head was itchy. I look and thought oh my god is this lice? Turned out that myself and youngest daughter had it. Just my luck!
So I’m trying to get ready for homecoming, now dealing with lice, my youngest is also suppose to be having surgery soon. Then both my youngest child and I are diagnosed with strep throat. She’s already allergic to amoxicillin so they give her the next option. A few days later she wakes up with a horrible rash head to toe and at this time there was a big issue with measles going around.
So I take her to urgent care. Well the nurse didn’t want to see us and sent us to pediatrics assuming it was just a regular antibiotic rash. We get up there, then they freak out and put us in a negative pressurized room. They get on the phone with the health department. We want us quarantined! I’m crying because at this point the boat should have been back and here I was sitting with my three kids not knowing what was going on.
They decide she is fine to go and just to watch her. Then later that night it was worse! I took her back in and the doctor comes in and says “no this is an allergic reaction!”. That was an exciting day full of a lot of tears and just wishing my husband was home. – Amanda J.
When The Car Breaks
Murphy’s law hit me full force one summer when Austin was gone for a 3 1/2 month training. He was on mandatory bachelor status across the country, which left me with 4,3, and 1 year old girls. At the time we were driving an OLD van that we were just praying would last another year and a half so we could finish Austin’s low paying residency at a hospital with no car payments.
Of course, a few weeks after Austin left the car’s “check engine” light turned on accompanied by some funky sounds. So I had to cart all the girls to an auto shop to find out what was going on. Over a thousand dollars and few days later, the car was fixed. At least until a few weeks later when the light turned back on while we were on road trip to visit my mother in law.
Fast forward to when it was two weeks before Austin was going to be coming home. I had now taken the car to the Auto Shop 4 times, have broken down on the side of the road and needed to be towed. Loaded and unloaded the car seats into different cars more times than I could count. And I may or may not have kicked the car out of anger, and was now being promised the problem was fixed. Just in time for everything to run perfectly while Austin was home, because why would the problems ever happen while he is home 🙂 Michelle – The Waiting Warrior Podcast
When Everything Else Breaks
One of my proudest (and most disgusting) Murphy’s law moments happened while my spouse was away from home for an extended training. After unloading the sink, I turned on our garbage disposal. I was shocked to see that instead of winding down the drain in a beautiful spiral, all of the gunk in my sink stood still. The sink began shaking and I watched in horror as the disposal ejected a stream of water resulting in an upward mini-explosion of what I can only describe as “sink guts”
I fumbled to turn off the disposal and clean the resulting mess on my counters, then I quickly turn to my #1 deployment resource (youtube) to figure out what was wrong. Turns out my disposal was clogged. I would have to personally disassemble it to get it unstuck. I put on my “cleaning clothes” and took apart the entire disposal- revealing the foulest smelling gunk you can imagine stuck inside of it. Murphy’s Law let me have it on this one, but there is NO pride like the pride you feel turning that disposal back one and watching it work! – Becky: BraveCrate
My husband has been on two deployments so far in his career. Both times, the day after he left, our fridge died. Completely died. Both times we had a fridge full of food. Also, it was two different refrigerators in two different houses and both were brand new! – Kaitlyn W.
Silence
You may be familiar with Murphy’s law of deployment. But I bet you are not prepared for this one! It never occurred to me that I could possibly lose communication with my husband while he was on the opposite side of the world. With all this technology we have today it’s hardly something we think about.
Well, technology wasn’t our friend during this deployment. We spent Christmas apart with communication at the bare minimum. It took a major toll on me not hearing from him or knowing if he was okay. This was all due to phone/computer trouble on his end of course.
Like I always say it’s nearly impossible to have a long-distance relationship without some type of communication. You bet I wrote him letters and sent them overseas. In the end, it all worked out and worrying about something you cannot control only makes the situation at hand much worse. – Whitney: That Wife Life
Murphy’s Law Combos
I’ve been through 7 deployments, 4 of them with young children, so we’ve had our fair share of broken appliances, car trouble, and ER visits! The scariest murphy’s law is when my toddler threw a tantrum next to the van and put her hand out while the automatic door was closing. It rolled right over her hand! I was sure it was crushed. Somehow, she escaped with just a scrape and severe bruising.
The most frustrating week was when all 4 kids got the flu at once, and everyone was throwing up continuously for about 48 hours. I just kept throwing things into the washing machine. The most expensive issue was when a toddler threw a sippy cup into my laptop and broke the whole screen. Ugh! By far, the strangest thing to break was the bathroom faucet. One day it was stuck in the ON position for an hour during bath time.
It’s always something! I’m thankful for the friends, neighbors, and Maintenance workers who have helped us through all our crazy deployment situations! Lizann – Seasoned Spouse
There is a saying that goes something like this – if it’s going to go wrong, it’s going to happen in the first days of a deployment. At least this has been true in our house. My husband has become accustomed to looking at his e-mail and Facebook as soon as he lands in a deployed location. This way, he knows what happened in the 10 hours in the air. Something has happened on every deployment. EVERY SINGLE ONE! Some serious; others just make for great stories.
The fastest ER visit occurred within seconds of my husband calling from his plane saying they were taking off to head out to his final deployment location. Seconds after is an eternity from the truth. As I hung up the phone, I heard the bang. There was no cry. There was no yell. Just a look of shock and surprise. We headed to the ER for stitches. My kids were having a dance-off party to “I like to move it”. My son lost his footing and fell into the corner of our TV cabinet. He broke his glasses and had a gash across his forehead. Had he not been wearing his glasses, the gash would have split over his eye.
This time the squadron unit would take too long. I had a neighbor rush over so we could head to the ER for several stitches. My husband of course landed several hours later to find pictures of his kiddo with a head bandage, several stitches, and smiles from an ER bed. His call home started with “what happened this time?” – Amanda: Seasons of My Military Student
Rely on Your Tribe
While this may not be your typical case of Murphy striking during deployment, it certainly felt like it. In 2018 during my husband’s deployment I had to have two big medical procedures done. I had to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed as my first major dental procedure ever. I was terrified managing it on my own.
The second procedure I had to have was knee surgery. Since we were still fairly new to Arizona I had no family nearby to help so my husband’s aunt flew in to help me with the surgery and the first 48 hours afterward. Looking back it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with.
At times I was begging acquaintances for rides to physical therapy and doctors appointments because I had no one. I even had to take an Uber a few times. Murphy showed up and hung around for almost two months. I am thankful for the inner strength. It forced me to find the few comical moments left in my memories from that time. – Julie E: Stories of a Reserve Milspouse
You are Not Alone!
Murphy’s Law is not picky. It can strike anyone at any time. Although frustrating in the moment, take comfort in knowing you are not alone. So reach out to your tribe, hold on tight and weather the storm. Your SO will be home soon enough!
