Ah….deployment….
As military families, we always have to adjust. We have to figure out how to make things work, even if we are not used to doing things that way. This includes deployments messing up our hard earned plans. When deployment happens over the holidays, it may feel like all the comfort and familiarity gets snatched away. It doesn’t have to be that way!
One year my husband and I celebrated Christmas day on Dec 17th. It was over a week early, but we knew he would be gone so we moved it and did all our regular stuff, just early. We have done this for thanksgiving, birthdays and anniversaries in the years to come.
If you are getting ready for deployment or other separation around this time of year, you could be feeling a little down and frustrated.
However, there are a few things you CAN do to make the situation a little more tolerable. Here are some ideas:
Celebrate early
Why not celebrate a little early? There is no law that says you have to celebrate the holidays on the day they are on on the calendar. Figure out when the best time for your family to celebrate is, and celebrate then. This includes decorating! I have always grown up decorating for Christmas on Dec 1st. However, since being a military spouse, we have decorated as early as Nov 1st, so we can enjoy the process of decorating AND celebrating when we can as a family.
So when the actual holiday comes and goes, the pressure and sadness of the time apart from your loved one is lowered, even just a little bit. AND if they do happen to still be home (cause delays happen ALL THE TIME) you can celebrate TWICE!
Document, Document, Document!
I am a HUGE lover of documenting everything in my family’s life. Video and pictures, even watching them after the fact, that help your loved one feel connected and be able to enjoy the moment with their family. One Christmas, when my husband was deployed, I videotaped our oldest daughter opening gifts. Then I uploaded it to Google Cloud so it wouldn’t get lost or erased. He was able to watch it with her and they chatted about her new toys for hours! He was able to connect with her, even after the fact. If your spouse is traveling over the holidays or getting situated in his new location for a deployment, there might not be time to connect on the holiday, but you can always share videos and photos with them later.
Maintain Any Traditions You Can
Traditions have a way of helping to ground us and provide stress relief. My family always opens presents one at a time. We take turns so we can all enjoy and celebrate each other’s gifts. Even when we celebrate early, or with family, I try to maintain this tradition. Think about what 2-3 traditions are most important to you and your family. Then think of how you can maintain them, even during a deployment.
Visit Family
If your spouse is leaving for deployment around this time of year, staying with family can help ease the loneliness. Familiar faces, traditions and people to occupy your mind and emotions is therapeutic. Besides, your family will probably want to see you and your kids and celebrate with you!
Take a Trip
Getting out of your house and visiting somewhere new can be a good way to get through this holiday season. If you don’t have a family to go to or just don’t want to visit them this time of year (cause travel can be expensive), you and your kids could always take a trip over the holidays. You could even go with another spouse and their kids. If finances are an issue, consider planning day trips to places close by to break up the holiday break.
The Holidays Do Not Have to Be Lonely!
Life can be tricky when you are going through deployment over the holidays. But there are things that you have control over and these suggestions may be just what you need to take it from frustrating to fantastic! See what you can do to make this year special.
What tips do you have for celebrating during a deployment?
