I want to be a better mom.
There, I said it. It’s true! Can I get an AMEN?! Please tell me I am not the only one. I’m not a bad mom, but I can always get better. With my kids being so little, my focus is always on them. It is MY job to help them be the best little humans they can be.
Fresh starts mean new changes
This move is really a fresh start for my family in so many ways. Not only are we starting over physically, by relocating to an unfamiliar area, but we also have been out of our previous routine.
This allows us the opportunity to reflect and decide what was working previously and what should change. We can then make those changes with very limited additional disruption.
So what have I learned?
One of the things I have liked about our previous routine is how my kids thrive on consistency and sticking to a routine. They love to be out of the house but also do not want to be constantly overloaded with “things” to do.
They love TV and it gives this mom a much needed break, but I noticed that the whining and saying “no” dramatically increased with each minute watching.
I also noticed that we did not eat meals as a family without distractions! How did that happen?! That time is so vital for conversations and sharing with family members.
And lastly, I realized that I was not taking time for ME. This is not meant to be selfish time, but time to recharge. To read a good book, take a bath, get my nails done, or even go on a date with my husband. I tried previously but with three kids under the age of 4, its not easy to carve out that time.
Starting over
Before the move, I kept telling myself that change was not possible. I would say things to myself like “there is no way we can get through a meal without the TV cause the kids wont sit still”. I would think “I’ve already created this habit, I don’t think I can change it now”. I’ve even said aloud “I don’t have time for ____”. Well recently I have discovered/been reminded of 2 major things.
- Change is HARD. I may not like the process but the end result is going to be worth it. If I want to see a change, I need to make the change and deal with how hard it is.
- Kids are sponges. They soak up what they see, hear and the world around them. If they see me eating while watching TV, they are going to eat while watching TV. So if I want to see a change in them and their behavior, I need to make the change in my life.
Now what?
I did some soul searching and lots of thinking and I came up with the top 6 changes I wanted to make this duty station in regards to my parenting and family life. Small changes really do add up in the end.
- No More TV during meals – when we lived in CA, we had an open concept area, which meant that the TV was in view of my kids at all times. This was not a big deal when they were really little, but over time and as they got older it became a habit. No more. Instead, I use our Echo Dot to play music when indoors or eat outside and enjoy the fresh air as much as possible.
- Decrease screen time when around my kids – Now having a job that requires me to be on my computer and phone often. However, there is no reason why I can’t minimize my time working to when my kids are napping (quiet time) or asleep for the day.
- I’m going to make sure they get one-on-one time every day – Even 10-15 minutes. I’m always asked to play with them. Sometimes, admittedly and regrettably, I tell them I’m too busy. I’m determined to say YES much more often.
These last two are for ME.
Self-care is SO important and so it needs to be something I focus on a little in order to be a better mom.
- Take “Nap/Quiet time” along with my kids (for one hour) One way is during nap/quiet time. I never get enough sleep which makes me more likely to lose my patience or forget things- this is a perfect way to combat that.
- I’m going to take time to focus on me (Self-care) – I’m not meaning that every day, all the time, I need to focus on myself and neglect my family, but a healthy amount of Self-care is SO important. More to come on that later.
I really am hoping that these changes will really do the good that I believe it can. Because these kids are worth it. They are my world and I am so excited for this fresh start.
