A simple guide of tips for helping your service member and your family with the transition after deployment.
Woohoo! He is coming home!
The time has come. You have been waiting and waiting for this moment and it is finally here! Care Packages have been exchanged, you have checked off your deployment bucket list and you are READY. You have so many emotions running through your system and your to-do list is getting longer by the moment.
Where do you start??
Of course, you want to clean the house, get your own personal grooming done (am I right ladies??) and maybe set up a party to celebrate! Before you get started however, here are six points to keep in mind that will hopefully help make the transition as smooth as possible.
1. Give your spouse BACK their own physical space in the home.
It’s easy to take over all the spaces when your spouse is gone. Take over the whole bed when sleeping, the bathroom counter and what little space is usually theirs in the closet.
But if you get any warning at all of their arrival, take some time to clean out those spaces of your items and give it back to your beloved spouse. After all, they deserve to have that space of their own after sharing all their space with a bunch of other military members. We want them to know they are coming home.
2. Favorite Foods and Snacks
I don’t know about you guys, but I would get SOOOOOO sick of the food our soldiers/sailers eat while away. Sometimes, they are lucky and get “real” food, but I am sure it is rare when they can really pick and choose what they want to eat. Forget about their pick of their favorite foods too!
So before they come, start adding their favorite foods to your shopping list to help stock up. In this house, I usually get Oreos, candy and usually work on his favorite freezer meals to help me have homemade food available without a lot of work.
3. Visual Schedule
My husband is usually gone for weeks/months at a time. We have 3 young children and even in that short time period, they change and grow and their needs change and grown along with them.
Having a visual BASIC schedule (written out, chart, etc) can help the parent who has been absent understand the general flow of the day. This can help the entire family continue to run smoothly and can help your service member to now feel completely in the dark.
4. Declutter from the Non-Essentials:
This is not just about physical items in your lives. I am also referring to activities, busy work and non-essential commitments in our lives. This is important for several reasons, but mainly in order to open up your time, energy, and overall self to your service member.
5. Set up date nights
This is self-explanatory. Set up those date-nights and reconnect! Start looking for sitters who would be available during the general time your spouse will be home. I have yet to meet a sitter who got upset when plans changed.
Even if you can’t get a sitter, have some plans for once the kiddos are in bed. Board game, movie and popcorn and even just a cup of hot chocolate and some time on the porch talking can really bring you together. Spending time with your spouse has such a positive affect on your marriage and friendship.
6. Give your spouse (and yourself) space and grace.
It takes time to get back into the groove of things. You may feel tempted to have all these active family outings, activities and expectations. However, put yourself in their shoes and understand the shocking difference it can be coming home from them. Provide opportunities, not pressure, to participate; at least for the first little bit.
Congratulation on having your family reunited!
Now go and enjoy! Take your time, ease into the rhythm again and don’t worry if there are bumps in the road. That is all part of reintegration and something all military families experience. You got this!
