I Learned Quickly
When you marry someone in the Marine Corps you learn that they are married to the Corps first. They put in extremely long hours in one day and too many hours to count in a week. Mind you, they will have many field ops and inspections so you can’t keep anything organized for longer than a couple of weeks. During the 3 years that my husband has been in and the amount of information I have learned is just a slice of what some other seasoned military spouses have attained. My husband is going for 20 years so wish us luck and oorah!
So as a new MILSO to a Marine Corps Service member, here are the top 5 things I have learned that I want to pass on to you!
Tip #1: Your spouse is married to the Marine Corps first.
They have a legal binding contract that says they are government property for a certain number of years. Yes you are legally married to your spouse but the Marine Corps will ALWAYS come first. You have to know that just because they are in the military doesn’t mean they will work a 9-5 job like regular civilians because they are not like everyone else. They may go in at 4:45 am for pt and then work all the way up until 1800 that day. Just remember that they are tired. Try to help when at all possible. That means helping them get their uniforms ready, if you know what you are doing, or simply making a pile of their things for the next morning. Anything helps them even if it’s just making piles or sending them reminder texts the next day.
Tip #2: You have to learn to become independent.
During their career in the Marine Corps, they will go on many field ops or deployments. They can consist of just one day, one week, a couple of months, or even deployment which can mean six to twelve months. I have learned that staying busy helps make the time pass. I know it only works for some time before things get old but then that is when you switch up your routine! This also implies cleaning the house or taking the kids on adventures without your spouse. They are already working their butts off during the day.
They don’t want to come home to help clean the house, unless they really like too. I know a lot of unemployed spouses that just wait for their spouses all day to help them with normal household chores. I’m not one of them. I like to have things done and be prepared for any possible unexpected things that could arrive.
Tip #3: You Will Learn About Your Spouse’s MOS.
I know you can’t get into the logistics of their position sometimes but learning just the general information can help you understand what they do day in and day out. I have read books that are on the Commandant’s Reading List to learn about the Marine Corps in general, how it was formed, and the different wars they have fought in. Doing this has actually made my husband and I connect more and it helps me understand the way he thinks and acts now. For instance, my husband is a Motor T Operator. I have read books on the different types of vehicles the Marine Corps utilizes and if I have questions I know he can answer them. This makes him feel like I care about his passion and career.
Tip #4: Visiting family is on the Marine Corps time and not on your time.
Knowing your spouses work, they usually won’t have the chance to go home as much as you would like. I have talked to other spouses who home without their Marine because leave was denied or the timing isn’t right. There are instances where leave will be immediately approved but usually due to emergencies. Always make sure to put in regular leave requests 30 days in advance. That way there is plenty of time for the request to go up the Chain of Command and get approved. My husband and I like to take our vacations during their slow months or during their long weekends where they have 72’s or 96’s. We like to explore places that are close to the base we live at to get to know their area and surrounding part of the state. Also make sure your Marine has plenty of leave days just in case an emergency happens. My husband for instance always has at least ten days saved up for any reason.
Tip #5: Be supportive of Every Decision.
Every single day they decide to get up and defend their country. They also better themselves physically and mentally, and always be present at home. During boot camp they are put under a lot of stress and that changes them. Some say their spouses have changed more than others but take it all with a grain of salt. I always support my husband in everything that he does. Just in the last month he has changed four different times the route he wants to take to better himself. Plus also where he would like to take our family. I am happy to go wherever the Marine Corps send us as long as my family is there together.
It’s all worth it!
All in all, I wouldn’t change anything about our marriage or our marriage with the Marine Corps. My husband has learned to better himself and that has brushed off on myself as well. He has changed for the greater good of himself and I am extremely proud to be there by his side. I will always be the person silently cheering him on and telling him to go a step further with each award that he receives.
