I’ve been there!
You spouse is lookin good and you haven’t seen them in months. You made it through another deployment and all you want to do is run up and give them a big hug!
Although this response is perfectly normal (and expected!) for homecomings, there are several rules and regulations regarding your SOs actions and abilities while in uniform.
Some of this you may think doesn’t apply to you, but you would be surprised how our actions can affect our service member and being “in-the-know” helps to minimize surprises and embarrassment. After all, many of the rules and regulations of military members goes way back. So check out this simple list of the top “rules in uniform” that every milso should be aware of! After all, knowledge is power!
PDA
Because members are required to maintain professionalism in uniform, personal displays of affection are typically frowned upon except in certain situations. For instance, moderate kissing and hugging is acceptable when there’s a homecoming or deployment. Please no making out, not even at reunions. Plenty of time for that later in private.
Hands
There are actually rules and regulations of what your SO is allowed to do with his/her hands while in uniform. Here are the 3 main ones:
- Right Hand: Your spouse is required to keep his or her right hand empty in order to salute at any time. I remember when I visited my husband for his OCS graduation and we were walking through the base on the way to go eat. He was in full uniform and I was standing on his right side as we walked. I was shocked when he stopped suddenly and moved to the other side (so I was on his left). He told me this would allow me to lock elbows with him on his left and to keep his right hand clear. This was an ah ha moment for me!
- Holding Hands: Technically, military personnel are not allowed to hold hands while in uniform. However, this slightly varies with each branch and some find it acceptable to show moderate displays of affection (weddings, graduations, etc) are acceptable. Typically my husband and I lock elbows or I “take his arm” when he is in uniform, but we have held hands during specific time (including homecomings)!
- Pockets: Service members are not allowed to keep their hands in their pockets – which makes me wonder…WHY do they have so many! Although you may not cause your loved one to break this rule, if you notice anything, maybe gently remind them.
On The Move
When your loved one is rushing from one place to another, whether you are with them or not, there are some rules and guidelines they must follow. These are great ones for you to be aware of as well since you may be traveling with them!
- Eating/Drinking: Depending on where you are stationed, eating/drinking while driving may be something allowed, but eating and drinking while walking is usually not.
- Cellphones: There is a “No Walk and Talk” rule in regards to call phone. I remember my husband rushes to a meeting and telling me he would have to call me back. At first I was offended but then he reminded me of this rule. Your SO will need to be standing still/sitting when talking on their cell phone.
- Left Side: As I mentioned before, a service member needs to have their right hand free to salute. So make sure to walk on their left side when walking with them on base. That way you won’t get bumped in the head when they have to salute.
- Motorcycles/Bikes: Helmets are required as a minimum. Each branch varies slightly with what PPE (personal protective equipment) is required to wear when riding a motorbike or motorcycle.
Other Considerations
Although there is a wide variety between branches and also different circumstances where these wouldn’t be applicable, its important to think of these other situations to consider:
- Sharing Uniform: It may also be considered disrespectful for milsos to wear their spouses uniforms (although I have seen some amazing photoshoots with military hats and such). Keep in mind, your spouse may get in trouble if photos of you or others are seen wearing their uniform.
- Smoking: We do not smoke so researching this was a little more complicated. Be sure to check with your installment for the specifics. There is a lot of variation when it comes to the regulations of smoking. Some installations don’t allow it at all in uniform. Others may allow it while standing, and in some instances it’s permissible at all times.
- Umbrellas: There is still debate over the umbrella rule across the different branches. Often, uniformed members are not allowed to carry an umbrella. In some cases, females are allowed to carry one as long as it is solid black
- Bags: In case of hand bags, only leather or single color bags like a briefcase, or office bag can be carried. No shoulder bags like Nike bag etc are permitted. Wilco Supply has an AMAZING collection of bags that are able to be used when in uniform.
What does this mean to you?
You may be wondering why is this important to you. Well, knowledge is power! There have been plenty of times over the years when I inadvertently did something or expected something that wasn’t permitted. By understanding what is appropriate and what is not, you will save yourself a lot of confusion or inadvertent embarrassment. You also can be more supportive of your SO while they are in uniform.
