It’s Ok to Miss Them
Military life can look quite different for everyone. This can depend on many factors, including the service member’s time in service, rank, and location. Some service members deploy more often than others and some may attend more trainings and TDYs. There are even times when the service member will “geo-bach” (live in a different place than the family). You will have periods of time when they are gone a lot, and periods when they are home. It’s ok to miss them.
In every military community, there is going to be a Topper. This person will always have it harder than you. You say your husband will be gone X amount of time, and that person will say theirs is/was longer. It is assumed that a shorter deployment is much easier than a longer one.
It Doesn’t Matter
The truth is, it is okay to miss your spouse, no matter how long they are gone. While a two-week training is “nothing” compared to being gone during the holiday seasons, that two-week training can still be difficult. All those deployment emotions we go through hardly have time to fully process before reintegration starts over again.
The military time away will also look different for everyone. It may be a monthly drill weekend, two weeks in the field during the off season, and some random trainings with a deployment every three to five years. Or it may be coming and going on a regular basis; my husband is gone half of the year with his current position, but he is gone 3-4 months and then home 3-4 months. And repeat. Sometimes military life is a nine-month deployment, home for a year, then get ready to do it again. This was our last sea duty station.
The reality is, there will be plenty of times when your spouse is away from you, and you miss them: No matter the length.
It’s okay to miss your SO.
It’s ok to miss them when you send off your oldest to kindergarten and wish they were there with you.
It’s ok to miss the support you get when all three kids are sick with the stomach bug and you haven’t slept in 2 days
It’s ok to miss their jokes when you have had a rough day and want to veg on the couch and talk it out.
It’s ok to be disappointed to need to reschedule a date night for the 3rd weekend in a row because drill schedules keep changing
It’s ok to want to scream when you miss their call AGAIN.
It’s ok to miss them when they have been gone for 3 months and are expected to be gone another 4.
Again, It’s OK!
So if you hear people say that you don’t have the right to miss your spouse because of whatever reason, ignore them. You do have that right. Whether they are gone for the weekend or for over a year. You are a military spouse, and missing your love is apart of the deal.
