Its that time of year again!
There is something magical about this time of year that seems to draw out the child in all of us. The holidays are usually a wonderful time to reach out to family, spend quality time with friends and to make new relationships with neighbors and co-workers. Celebrating holidays while your Spouse is Deployed can seen daunting and lonely. Between usually living far from home (another state OR another country), having children and/or work, and the cost of travel these days, most MILSOs are unsure what to do.
But there are some ways to celebrate the holidays during a deployment! Along with some basic tips and advice, I have reached out to some amazing fellow MILSOs and gathers expert tips from those who have “been there, done that!”. So check them out below!
Become a Care Package Expert!
I constantly tried to remind myself that my husband was also missing out on holidays with the people he loved. Instead of skipping the holidays because I was sad, I focused on spreading the holiday joy through his care packages. For each holiday, I sent a box filled with goodies that he could use to celebrate with his co-workers. Little touches like using the same wrapping paper on his presents that I used for everyone else or sending a little mini tree complete with lights and ornaments went a long way towards getting in the holiday spirit and then sharing it with him. – Rachel McQuiston: Countdowns and Cupcakes
Maintain Traditions
For many families and certainly for young kids, maintaining tradition is important. It offers continuity and comfort.
We have certain expectations every year. Some things can be omitted or mixed up, but other things are just necessary for the holiday to feel special.I’m an only child, so we really never did much on holidays, except with my grandmothers and they passed when I was a teenager. My husband’s parents passed the first year we married. We’ve never celebrated holidays with family. It was a blank slate. We could create our own traditions! We like to keep things simple. It keeps my stress levels down, knowing I don’t have to make everything perfect and Pinterest-worthy. Focus on being flexible while also making the holidays your own! – Jennifer Lambert – A Sacred Balance
Gather Those Around You
If you’re unable to travel home for the holidays, make plans with other military spouses who also have deployed spouses. Plan a small holiday dinner, plan a themed party, host a gift exchange, or cookie decorating party for the kids. The older kids and adults can get in on the cookie action too. One of my favorite Thanksgivings was spending time with a fellow milspouse family who had a deployed husband.
Offer to host your family for the holidays at your home this year. We all know it’s us who often do the traveling, but ask your family members to travel to you this year. Put on the table with your family today! – Sybil Jones: Mamas and Coffee
If you are going through a deployment over the holidays, try to find some friends that are doing the same and make plans to spend the holidays together. One Thanksgiving, about 10 of us had a potluck with our kids, and it made the holiday so much fun even though our spouses were deployed. Your friends will become more like family during the holidays when your spouse is deployed 🙂 – Julie Provost : Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life
Holidays during deployment can be so lonely and discouraging. My best tip is to surround yourself with family and friends and to make the day special in its own way. You have to keep on living and having fun. I’ve always allowed myself to feel what I’m feeling and acknowledge the sadness of hubby being gone, and we try to FaceTime or call and include him when possible. But you still have to focus on what is in front of you, especially if you have kids. I found that helping my kids enjoy the holidays brought me a lot of joy too. Hang in there because it’s not easy, but you can get through it and grow through it! – Heather Goffrier: Strong With Grace
Start New Traditions
See the holidays without your loved one as an opportunity to do something different and unique. It can be hard to celebrate with the same traditions through a deployment… so change it up! Maybe this year is the perfect year to volunteer at a soup kitchen on Christmas Eve, or try that restaurant you’ve been meaning to check out on Thanksgiving, or see a blockbuster movie during Hanukkah. Maybe your new “thing” will become a family tradition! – Jo: Jo, My Gosh
Utilize Outside Resources
Being away from home during the holidays is hard for everyone, but with United Through Reading (UTR) – your service member can be right there with your family reading your favorite (or new favorite) holiday book to your kids. Can you imagine the amazing family traditions that can be made when you incorporate a book?? The best part about a UTR recording is that it is always available. While you should definitely Skype or FaceTime with your service member when you can, a UTR recording is reliable, when Internet connections aren’t; repeatable, for kids to watch again and again; and accessible to children any time they need and miss their service member, day or night. – Jessica Hall: United Through Reading.
Creatively Include Your Spouse
Although difficult, communication with your service member will help keep the holidays more cheery and bright. Take photos, send emails, schedule a Skype/Facetime call (maybe open gifts during that time), send care packages and buy/wrap their gifts. No need to erase them from the holiday celebrations altogether! Plus, being able to hear your loved one’s voice/seeing their face can be just the thing to push you forward as you wait for them to come home.
One fun thing is to include something like a Daddy Doll wherever you go and as you are documenting, which would also help with any children you may have. – Noralee Jones: Mrs. Navy Mama
Holidays Are Still Amazing Times
Deployments are HARD. They are not for the faint of heart. I have cried (ugly cried) many times due to missing my husband during deployments, Christmas day alone with my kids while pregnant and so many other special moments. I am beginning to lose count.
There is good news! Deployments are also temporary; just a blimp in time when compared to your lives together. So gather up your tribe, schedule some activitiesm send that care package and make a lot of memories this holiday season!
